I sat on my couch last night, looking out into my garden, as the sun was setting and my (wonderfully thoughtful) husband was out running errands for me. In front of our living room window is a lilac bush that’s just beginning to bloom. There, I caught a glimpse of one of the buds that had just opened and I felt the anticipation of the delightful scent and beautiful flowers that would be coming in full over the next week or so.
When we moved into our house almost two years ago, we had no idea of the secret beauties that were waiting in (what I thought were just some) shrubbery. Last spring, our front tree lit up with little purple buds and I waited, ever so patiently, to find out what they were. The smell of the buds, before they had even bloomed, hinted that they were what I had hoped so badly for – lilacs. And then, all of a sudden, our little shrub out the back dining room window also turned out to bloom lilacs as well. Three trees/shrubs, all bloom for me (or so it feels that way, as these flowers are my absolute favourite). Last spring was so delightful as the mystery, hope, and anticipation flooded me and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that were blessed three times over with my favourite of all the flowers.
So, last night, when I caught a glimpse of the one in the front garden, I got excited. The one out front blooms white lilacs, while the other two are purple. White is my least favourite kind of lilac (I’m a sucker for pretty colours); so I’m trying extra hard to be patient while I wait for the purple – my most favourite.
As I was checking on one of our purple lilac trees today, I thought a lot about how my patience and anticipation relates to my new parenthood journey. So much of my everyday life with my little baby requires so much patience. And while, at times, I’m eager to jump ahead to the next stage, and even sometimes wonder who my little person will grow up to be, I’m trying to be patient in the mundane, ordinary, baby-rearing life that I am in the midst of. Don’t get me wrong, I love my sweet (almost 11 month!) girl to bits and I enjoy seeing all the new things she does (she’s so smart – learning and growing so fast). It’s just, some days are very hard (ie. she’s teething and having meltdowns on the daily) and I’m trying to take care of her in the best ways I can, and also trying to be in tune with her uttermost needs and emotions. It’s difficult and challenging, and I’m being stretched like no other. But, like a gardener, I see the beauty in the little bud. And I excitedly anticipate the growth and bloom of who she will one day be.