Before having our daughter, my husband and I would often say that we didn’t know how many kids we’d like to have. Our motto was, “Let’s see how the first one goes.” We always knew we’d like to have more than one, but we are more go-with-the-flow kinda people, leaving up our family’s destiny for God to determine and see where life takes us.
Now that we have had one baby, we both agree that we aren’t in any hurry to have more. We want our child to have a sibling or two, eventually; but we are just enjoying the days as a family of three, knowing that it probably won’t always be this way and our girl won’t be this little for long.
But for now, we are in “no hurry” & here are some reasons why:
- I am not ready at all.
I was super naive going into this parenting gig. I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but I 100% underestimated how hard caring for a baby is. My naivety is now something my husband and I find hilarious. We laugh at the fact that I once had a whole list of “to do’s” that I thought I would accomplish on my maternity leave. Ha! As if I have had any free time. I guess I imagined my hypothetical baby spending 95% of the day sleeping. Even as a newborn, she did sleep a lot; but mostly on me (she’d be nursed or rocked to sleep) or I’d try to maneuver her into her swing or bassinet. And then I’d have to tip toe around the house. My “breaks” (aka when she would sleep), were mostly for food, bathroom breaks, and showers. Otherwise, there was no time to do anything else. Now that I know how hard life with a little baby is, I’m okay waiting a few years before we have another.
- Pregnancy was hard for me.
I love children and I am excited to have at least another baby in a year or two. But up until recently, my body has literally started aching at the thought of carrying and delivering another baby. I was so sick throughout my pregnancy (morning sickness that started at about 9 weeks and lasted right up until the end!). I gained more weight than I thought I would. Yes, the first few little kicks and flutters were super exciting, but I didn’t love getting jabbed by elbows and knees as my baby got bigger and bigger and bigger. I am glad that I got to experience being pregnant, but I don’t miss being pregnant at all. (And I’d like to give my body ample time to get “back to normal” or as normal as it can be).
- We want to be financially responsible (as best we can).
Whenever we talked about when to have children, my husband and I quickly discovered that there was never going to be “the best time”. We would always find excuses why we weren’t ready (financially being the biggest one – kids are expensive!). But then we just decided to go for it and got pregnant right away. We are okay waiting a few years so that I can return to work, we both can keep growing in our careers and hopefully save a bit of money before our expanding our family. We would definitely be feeling the pinch of some financial strain if we had more children sooner and I decided to stay home with the kids. I (selfishly) want to go back to work; I love my job and I don’t want to be out of the field forever. Another selfish reason I have for waiting is that I hope that we will be lucky enough to only have one baby in diapers at a time (diapers can be costly!). And I don’t want my whole house spelling like poop all the time, either haha.
- I want my first baby to be a little bit bigger and somewhat independent.
Carrying on with the poop topic, I hope to have my daughter potty trained before we have another. Our ideal age-gap between children is three years. So, by then, we should have a little one who is growing more and more independent when we add a completely helpless little newborn to the mix.
- We will go with the flow.
As I mentioned earlier, my husband and I are pretty relaxed. Sure, if we feel the desire to go for it and try to get pregnant sooner, then we will. But for now, we are enjoying our sweet little ten month old and life as we know it 😉